Is this normal? Am I crazy?
I hear some form of these questions almost every day.
Over the years, I have answered in various lighthearted ways that were mostly intended to sooth and encourage.
But lately I have been thinking about the question more deeply and more personally.
What is normal and considered to be mentally healthy? To compete continuously to get mine even at your expense. To fight and win even if it hurts another. To work hard, make something of myself, gain security through acquisition and power. To be independent and to be mostly unaffected by it all.
Instead, I am tired and sad. I spend a lot of time uncertain and afraid. I have to work to summon courage and faith to stay open and try to love and grow. I spend a good bit of my time hoping I that look ok even though I am not quite sure that I am.
Is that crazy? Is that normal?
I am not sure that I know the real answers to these questions. Broken heartedness and insecurity seem usual to me. Not unusual. Facing fear and being uncertain seem to be the norm. Grief and loss seem to mount up in direct proportion to the amount that I love. What an equation! So, it seems crazy and not normal to stay open and continue to love in this world.
If it sometimes seems hard and even overwhelming, you are not crazy. It is normal. To be otherwise would be insane.